In the tattoo business we get to meet a lot of characters. Not bad people mind you, but some interesting folks nonetheless. But some people take the cake and not in a good way. We call those people Knuckleheads. We had previously discontinued the Knucklehead of the Month award out of a desire to promote positivity, what we discovered was that we were only removing a positive public service by reminding people what real assholes look like. So, without further ado:

Joe got tattooed by Deuce back in August-ish. He swung back through for a touch-up in November and liked the finished product so much he scheduled to have another cover-up done in December. But Joe had some issues with his lady you see, and while she showed up for her appointment that they booked together, ol’ Joe no-call, no-showed. SMH. Well, with that sort of behavior comes the forfeiture of the deposit that was left to hold the spot, which is the entire reason we take deposits in the first place, some people just can’t be trusted and since it’s impossible to know who can and can’t be by looking at them, we take deposits from everyone. Just in case.

Here’s where it starts to get asshole-y: Two months after missing his appointment good ol’ Joe saw fit to leave us a negative review online talking about how we aren’t clear on our deposit policy and we’re unprofessional. First, everyone who books an appointment at Lighthouse Tattoo has to read and sign paperwork disclosing our entire deposit policy and how someone can lose that deposit (being a no-call, no-show is at the top of that list), and second, professionalism is a spectrum. This is a tattoo shop, not a mortuary.

Since Joe wasn’t on time to his appointment, Deuce (his artist, try to keep up) called him twice with no answer or call back, and emailed him wondering if he was going to be able to make it. Good ol’ Joe didn’t respond. For that, Joe’s deposit gets paid entirely to Deuce to help offset the $120 he just lost because Joe didn’t show up. You try going to work and making $120 less than usual and see how you feel about it, it ain’t good.
The lack of professionalism Joe is referring to is the fact that Deuce and Will, his fellow artist, had recently taken a motorcycle trip to Key West FL, got pretty smashed every night, and were reminiscing about their recent once-in-a-lifetime vacation together. The conversation at the time was light and entertaining, with Joe commenting about how cool such a trip was (and it was, we strongly recommend it). However, we would contend that this wasn’t unprofessional at all, it was just something to talk about to take our clients’ minds off the discomfort of getting tattooed. This same thing occurs in every tattoo shop everywhere all the time.

It should be clear by now that good ol’ Joe is only mad because he forgot to call us when he knew he wasn’t going to be able to show up for his appointment and is mad because he lost his deposit. Obviously, right?

Here’s the stupid thing: Joe says he missed his appointment because he got the ‘Rona. Well, that gets you an exception with regard to our normal deposit policy, so even if he forgot to let us know (due to getting really sick really quickly) we would have worked with him so he didn’t have to lose his deposit. It’s something that we’ve done on a monthly, if not weekly basis since May. It’s a damn pandemic people, we’re in this together.

The other stupid thing is that instead of contacting us and speaking with us directly, good ol’ Joe just decides to go online and try to hurt our business by publicly talking shit. Even though it’s been TWO MONTHS since he missed his appointment, we could have worked with him. Until, that is, he decides to publicly disparage our business. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me, y’know?

We have enclosed his recommendation as left on Facebook, as well as Will (posting as Crystal Roberts Wood, his wife’s account) and Deuce’s responses. Joe mentioned he is a member of the Iron Order, a group of guys who ride motorcycles together who have a reputation for not understanding how the world works and generally aren’t respected by other bikers, so Will mentions that as well, whilst referring to good ‘ol Joe as a pussy, which it’s Will’s personal belief that’s exactly what he is. A decent person would have called and let us know that they wouldn’t make it. A decent person would be fine with forfeiting a deposit if they forgot to contact us, in order to help cover the artist’s losses due to their own oversight. A decent person would have contacted a business directly in order to negotiate some sort of mutually beneficial deal to continue the relationship. But Joe did what a full grown pussy would do: He cried about it on the internet, all the while re-writing the narrative to absolve himself of any responsibility for his own actions.

That behavior is why he is permanently banned from Lighthouse Tattoo.

Way to go Joe. What a knucklehead.