Emergency room visits are never fun. The very mention of it brings vivid memories to bear for most of us: serious, or life-threatening injuries; acute illness; and the ever-present fear of a shocking, life-altering diagnosis are something many of us have had personal experiences with. Inconvenient to say the least, an emergency room visit is never a planned thing, hence the name. Fortunate that we are to have them , their necessity is something that gives rise to that anxious little thing in the back of all of our minds.

So when one of our artists left to go to the emergency room in the middle of the day, we were all pretty shook.

Upon calling that artist’s remaining appointments for that day, in order to let them know what was happening and get them rescheduled for the next available time, we had one, ONE person who had to make a big stink about it. This Miranda cunt.

Listen, here’s how it works: If an artist here can’t make an appointment for any reason that’s out of their control (car accident; dying family member; childbirth; acute illness) we will reschedule that appointment for the next reasonable spot, it’s always been that way, it will always be that way. Tattoos are permanent and there’s no such thing as a tattoo emergency, so while inconvenient, rescheduling someone is far from impossible. Additionally, we here at Lighthouse Tattoo have a TON of leeway with regard to compensating the affected party by way of offering discounts for being so inconvenienced.

Here’s the kicker: Miranda was already getting a discounted rate of $200 for a 5-hour session. Matter-of-fact: Miranda here has only EVER been tattooed at Lighthouse when she could get something for almost nothing. And it turns out she’s a bitch. Or at the very least, someone with a REAL screwed-up sense of self and her place in the world.

Miranda wanted a refund because of the last-minute reschedule. We understand, it sucks. We love tattoos here, and getting your excitement dashed because of unforeseen circumstances in lame. We wholeheartedly agree. We will, not, however, be giving her a refund. Why? Because the event was out of our control. Simple as that. IF Miranda doesn’t want to move forward with us because she wanted to throw a TANTRUM LIKE A POORLY-RAISED CHILD, so be it, but that’s on HER. But we do understand her frustration. Hell, she’s even allowed to express that frustration and ask for concessions, which we would have gladly considered, as I stated before, we have lots of wiggle room with regard to discounts and scheduling.

But Miranda decided to do the cunty-est thing she could think of: Ye olde 1-star Google review. We’ve all seen it before, Karening at it’s finest.

Two things, just so everyone knows: Our owner Will feels that everyone that works here is part of his family and after her behavior he wanted everyone to know that if Miranda shows her face back at Lighthouse Tattoo, he will ‘Slap her to her knees.’ and that’s a direct quote. #2. She didn’t even ask if the artist was okay.

Now, all jokes aside, this is the problem. Miranda-something’s wrong with you. The fact that your first reaction when finding out your artist was in the hospital wasn’t to show any concern for their welfare, but to act a complete fool because you were inconvenienced. This is simply wrong-think. We’d like to offer you the opportunity to apologize, remove your negative review (which we could really care less about, but we won’t work on people who have left them) and try to find a way to move forward.

But we won’t hold our fucking breath.